"Complementarianism" Means the Husband is the Spiritual Leader

In orthodox Christianity, not only do religious leaders have to be male, husbands also have to be the religious authorities in a marriage. No wonder violence by men against women is so common in the Bible Belt.

A few times in my past public life I was invited to gatherings where the "proper" role of husbands and wives was discussed. I recall that along with being the "spiritual leader" and husband was to be the "public voice" of the family. The old stuff about the wife yielding to whatever the husband wanted was there too. I didn't argue much but I remember thinking this was a recipe for abuse.

All the dictates for which gender does what in Christianity are harmful rules made by men at some point back in history for the benefit of men. They have been harmful in holding back women from opportunities that should be available to them. I suppose if you asked women in these religious groups if they are happy without the same opportunities as men, the majority might say yes. They have been told for much of their lives it is better for them not to take more responsibility. Female clergy is one of these taboos for women in some branches of the faith. 

In one of Michelle Obama's books, she discussed growing up in a black Chicago neighborhood. Many of the wives were not in the work force, not uncommon for white women of the time. Many of the men in her parents' circle of friends were capable of higher-level jobs but the jobs were not available to them. They toiled away at boring jobs watching white men move up while they did not. Mostly, they were resigned to this situation and only mentioned it occasionally while among other black people. I suspect they never mentioned it in white company. 

The entire business of discussing differing roles in marriage for husbands and wives and for jobs in a denomination seems very peculiar to me. There is no reason to discuss roles of genders at all. If the faith wants to discuss "sin," "eternity" and other myths, those are religious. The topic of gender is a fly floating in the soup. It needs to be removed.