The Lesson of Naghmed Abehini to Conservative Christianity

For several years around 2015 conservative religious sites, especially Christina Post, could not do enough stories about Iranian/American preacher Saeed Abehini. Abehini and his beautiful wife, Naghmed, had settled in Oregon where he pastored a church. Somewhere along the line he raised money for an orphan's home in Iran and spent a lot of time there.

According to Iran law enforcement, Abehini taught Christianity to the children in his orphan's home. This is a big-time violation of Iranian law. As I understand it, Abehini had promised not to do that in his application to establish and run the home. So into Iranian prison he went.

His wife, Naghmed, was skilled at publicity. She was the one generating soulful stories about her husband's imprisonment. They had two small children and he needed to be home, she pleaded. She presented in front of Congressional committees and talked personally with President Obama. President Obama spoke publicly about his support of Abehini. TV evangelists hammered on the story. Sunday School children wrote letters--it was a BIG story.

Abelhini came home to a hero's welcome. Almost the minute he arrived, however, his wife filed for divorce. Soon after she obtained a protection order prohibiting him from calling her or coming by her home. She said he was a domestic abuser and she feared for her safety. Earlier she had hinted her conversations with him during his imprisonment were difficult because he complained nonstop about how little she was doing for him and needed to step up her efforts. 

During this period of tumult they both appeared with Franklin Graham. He had given them money to finance her lobbying work. He told her publicly to go home with him and prayerfully work things out. 

That advice was referred to this week as the worst possible advice to give any woman suffering from an abusive man. Experts in the field today never advise a women to do this. 

A foundation formed to study and advise on this issue works with preachers. It tells preachers not to tell an abused women to carry on say they will return with advice soon. The instinct of preachers/priests is to talk to the man and get his side of the story. It is almost never the case the woman is exaggerating or lying. The foundation advises clergy to simply believe the woman and help her leave her home for some safer place. If there is something to sort out it can be done after she is safe. 

Saeed Abahini, the preacher, had been rather successful. After his release, supporters realized he was quite bonkers and his sources of money dried up. The last I heard he had moved to Florida and was pleading for money. 

Wife Naghmed now says many religious people besides Graham told her to return to him. That advice so wounded her she is unable to walk into a church to this day.