Things Christians Wish Jesus Had Never Said


There are pages and pages in the Bible that claim to be the words of Jesus. No one who wrote the Bible claimed to have been present when Jesus spoke. No one even claimed to have seen or talked to Jesus. So when we "quote Jesus" we may not be quoting him at all.

It's fun to review things Jesus is supposed to have said that really annoy Christians today. Christians today are enthusiastic capitalists and, while Jesus talked a lot about money, he never embraced the wealth most Christians today pursue. Recall that the rich man is a camel trying to fit through the eye of a needle the rich man Jesus told to give away all he had. 

Jesus supposedly said his male followers were to leave their families to work for him. While there is a lot of machoism in Christianity there is also a lot of advocacy of men being involved in family life. Certainly no preacher or membership outreach committee today says to prospective members, "If you join our church we want Dad to leave the family behind and do only church work." There is the odd practice in the Catholic church of celibate priests but that's as close as it comes to the Jesus quote.

Then there is "turn the other cheek." When 9/11 happened did even one Christian say "turn the other cheek?" Well, yes there no doubt were Christians that did not advocate invading Afghanistan and Iraq in revenge. They had to be very few in number. Revenge is big in Christianity. Murder the doctors who do abortions. Kill a Communist for Christ. Jesus is viewed by much of the faith as a rough and tough macho male the "other cheek" quote just does not come up.

Jesus said the world would end in his lifetime. Think of the implications that carries. Why bother to save money, have children, have friends, pay your bills, own a house or have a job? Just buy enough beer so you don't run out and wait. Even later in the Bible this little mistake was pushed to the back of Christian propaganda. The end and hell were needed to sell the faith but the time specific end was dropped. It would have been better for Christians if writers had portrayed a less dramatic Jesus.

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  1. Matt NoahSeptember 20, 2021 at 12:34 PM

    December 1, the SCOTUS will hear a Mississippi case that goes head to head with Roe v. Wade.

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