Estrangement of Children from their Parents

I came across a discussion of children estranged from their parents and my first thought was, "That is sad." Then I began to recall how many families among those we have known have this situation right now. It is not that uncommon and some who study it believe it is increasing. 

While the link does not discuss differences over religion, I always think about the potential for estrangement when I read articles on Christian sites insisting parents instill the Christian faith in their children. What a better formula, it seems to me, for estrangement as adults. I don't think preachers are doing their flocks any favor by badgering parents to badger their children. The same applies to atheists who take risks by badgering their children to avoid beliefs in religion.

Parents who believe they are "saving their children from an eternity in hell" are perhaps more common than children who feel they need to save their parents. I'm aware of alcoholism, mental illness and such things that drive families apart. It seems to me, however, religion and politics are not reasons families should become estranged. These are topics that can be avoided if everyone agrees to make the effort.

Gay children have always been a source of estrangement from parents. In addition, there are children who change their genders. These are not reasons to become estranged. We all know these issues are wrapped up in religion. If religion is driving a wedge between you and your children try your best to kick religion out of your house instead of kicking your children out. 

There are some roll models out there. The singing duo, Sonny and Cher, had a daughter, Chastity. As she grew older she self identified as a lesbian. Later, the man known as Chaz Bono, realized he is a male. Through all of that, Sonny and Cher accepted the events without hesitation so it is said. How much more difficult it would have been for the late Sonny and current show business star Cher and well as Chaz if the parents had decided to not accept these changes. 

I realize estrangement is sometimes unavoidable. There are marriages of children that contribute to driving a wedge between family members. Divorces do the same. 

This said, the institutions that claim to be "pro family" should not have policies that drive wedges between children and parents. That is what the church risks when it preaches parents should raise their children as Christian.