Perhaps "Thoughts and Prayers" Hurt the Faith

Like most everyone else, I have had people say they are praying for me. In recent decades the words became "thoughts and prayers." From people I knew personally I found this a nice gesture. But the broader general practice may be hurting the faith.

We can start with people of other religions, some of which do not pray or have some different concept of reaching the divine. To them, one would think, the remark is heard as, "My god will help you, yours will not."

I can understand if a person has never dealt with death without simultaneously assuming the deceased is in a heaven it is all but impossible to talk of anything else. The two topics are one and the same.

Atheists, on the other hand, deal with death in a reality where there is no heaven. Thoughts about heaven simply never enter the minds of survivors. Thus, introducing the topic may result in an awkward moment.  It would be like bringing up the topic of heaven to someone in another country where the culture has never heard of it.

 With a little forethought it is possible to come up with something other than referring to prayer.

I've been an atheist long enough to have experienced deaths of atheist friends. I was once honored to be the host of a ceremony. The deceased had several Christian friends who gave beautiful talks appropriate for the person and his family--none mentioned prayer.

Once I attended a service for an atheist friend in Alexandria, MN. A devout Christian I know had been asked to contribute. He began by saying, "I know our friend would not want religion introduced today. But, if I were to introduce religion, here is what I would say..." Everyone was smiling as he quoted some scripture about living a good life with good friends. Heaven was not mentioned.

Navigating the new world of diverse cultures and beliefs is not easy. People of faith will serve their own cause best by being aware of the diversity.

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